keep fighting, keep loving: Archive

it’s hard to believe i’ve really spent almost 7 years of my life here.

i don’t know why it’s so impossible to find a job but i’m getting frustrated. i need to start saving so i can get out of here. if i spend more than another year here i might just go crazy.

maybe i’ll start my own business… doing what, i don’t know. i might even go to fucking cosmetology school. i might sell all my shit and live the cushy life of a homeless person in the city for a while and rebuild my life from the ground up.

there’s really no opportunities for someone like me. no work experience, no connections, not rich to begin with… i feel like i’m at a dead end. i really, really need to get out of here.

Oct 30, 2011

Oct 30, 20118,310 notes

Oct 30, 20116,506 notes

Oct 30, 2011228,989 notes

i am totally convinced that the only reason people ever fall for me is because of the qualities i possess that remind them of someone else.

i’m like a watered-down version of my hotter female counterparts.

counterparts that most of the people who dig me couldn’t get.

so they settle for the next best thing. the generic version, if you will.

less hot. less intense. less… interesting? idk.

Oct 28, 2011

people i wish i was:

not me

Oct 28, 2011

Friend: what are you gonna be for halloween?
Me: drunk and emotionally unstable.

Oct 25, 201116,306 notes

Oct 25, 2011126 notes

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Oct 22, 201115,151 notes

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Oct 20, 20111,145 notes

Oct 20, 2011191,039 notes

17 is the most pointless age ever, seriously. guh,

Oct 19, 2011

Oct 19, 201116,939 notes

Oct 19, 2011168 notes

lol, fuck all of you.

Oct 19, 2011

Oct 17, 20111,770 notes

you ever feel like the people around you only enjoy the things they do because they’re supposed to? because it’s what’s expected of them.

free will is just an illusion.

Oct 17, 2011

full plus high equals a happy marissa.

and noww i’m sleepy as fuck.

Oct 16, 2011

kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oct 16, 2011

Oct 15, 201167 notes

“If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.” —Kurt Vonnegut, from A Man Without A Country (via jlew0welj)

Oct 15, 201156 notes

Oct 15, 201111,299 notes

“I’ve always resented the fact that when a cop drives by I feel paranoid instead of protected.” —

Buddy Wakefield

“Have you seen the squad cars packed with boys in blue?
Have you ever wondered what they’re there to do?
Pictures in the paper of soldiers in the street,
Pictures in the history books of rotting human meat.
Auschwitz’s now a tourist spot for the goggle eyed to pry,
Still in working order just for you and I.
Photos of the victims, of gas, of gun, of bomb,
Inheritance of violence in the bookshelves of your home.
Don’t wait for it to come to you, cos come it surely will,
The guardians of the state are trained to search, destroy and kill.”

-crass, the gasman cometh

(via boybitch)

Oct 15, 2011758 notes

Oct 15, 2011383 notes

Oct 15, 20112,858 notes

Oct 14, 2011

Oct 14, 2011198,433 notes

when i went to san francisco over two months ago, i was there for maybe four days. basically the equivalent of a small vacation.

in those four days i met some of the saddest people i’ve ever known, heard their stories, saw a man get tased, unwittingly tried meth, saw someone get shot in a drive by, neglected to pay bus fair, and panhandled.

despite all that, every day was new and exciting and an acccomplishment and there was never, never a dull moment. it was actually the best i’d felt about my life in a long time.

for once, i really just felt connected to the people around me in the most cliche way. i didn’t feel so fucking strange or out of the ordinary anymore.

i miss that. i want that.

maybe i should just go live in golden gate park for the rest of my days and sleep in a bush.

sounds better than this shit existence.

Oct 13, 2011

Basement Scene Deerhunter

smaliens: